“It’s Never Too Late,” says Oprah About Achieving Your Dreams

Every week, Oprah is setting an intention exclusively for Oprah Insiders, with reflections on themes like letting go, forgiveness, coming into your own, and more. Come back to this page each day this week for a new piece of advice or story that will inspire you to keep reaching for your dreams—because as Oprah says in her Sunday message below, “It’s never too late.”

Saturday, January 29: Marvel at Your Capacity for Growth

Open the window and shout, “Happy birthday!” Bake a cake, if you’re so inclined. Why? Because today, January 29, is Oprah’s birthday. Sixty-eight years ago, Oprah was born in the small town of Kosciusko, Mississippi.

Much like she thinks of the new year as a time to ask questions about your life purpose and intention, Oprah’s birthday serves as a moment for reflecting. In this week’s intention video she spoke to turning 68, and the concept that age really is just a number.“When I was much younger, 68 felt—not just old, it felt ancient! And now, this is what I know: It’s just a marker of how many trips you’ve been around the sun. Because we get to determine what that number means for each of us.”

To commemorate birthdays, Oprah has often shared insights about how she's grown and what she's learned over past years in her "What I Know for Sure" column. Read on for a few of those lessons—then share your era-defining lessons, below.

In her 20s: “Don’t give up your power to a man who’s shown he cares only about himself.”

In her 30s: “Own yourself in every way possible, so you never have to sell yourself short or be bought by anyone.”

In her 40s: “I’ve come to know that becoming more of yourself is the only route to authentic, lasting power.”

In her 50s: “What I’ve learned in this first 50 is that if you can allow yourself to breathe into the depth, wonder, beauty, craziness, and strife—everything that represents the fullness of your life—you can live fearlessly. Because you come to realize that if you just keep breathing, you cannot be conquered.”

In her 60s: “God—however you define or refer to Him, Her, or It—is for us. The forces of nature are for us, offering us life in abundance. We humans narrow what is an open field of wonder and majesty to the myopic reality of our day-to-day experiences. But there is extraordinary in the ordinary. Every day and every breath is magic—if we can only see it for what it is.”

Friday, January 28: Borrow Hoda Kotb’s Mantra “Everything Happens Right on Time”

Hoda Kotb is someone who seems to have it all—but, as she told Oprah Daily, it took the 57-year-old much longer to get there than she’d imagined. “Sometimes I think to myself that if someone had told me when I was a kid or a teenager, ‘Hey, when you’re 57, that’s when the magic is going to happen,’ I probably would have said, ‘Oh my God, what a horrible life that will be,’” says Kotb. “But what I realize is, blessings come right on time.”

Within the past five years, Kotb was named co-anchor of NBC’s Today, became engaged to longtime boyfriend Joel Schiffman, and—perhaps most notably—adopted two daughters, Haley and Hope. “Sometimes you ride a wave, and sometimes you swim upstream, and in this window and season in my life, I get to ride the wave, and I’m going to ride it,” Kotb reflects. “And when it turns and I have to swim upstream, trust me, I’ll swim upstream. I’ve spent most of my life doing it.”

In 2007, Kotb was diagnosed with breast cancer and underwent a mastectomy and reconstructive surgery—all while going through a divorce. At the time, Kotb said that her mantra was “This can’t hurt me,” but now her go-to mantra is: “Right on time.”

“‘Right on time’ is kind of describing everything that’s happening right now. We’re all jonesing for things, and we want things faster, and we want things now, whether it’s the promotion or the job or the guy...‘Why can’t I meet him, where is he, I wanna have a kid, why not yet, why not now,’” says Kotb. “It took me this long to realize that everything really does happen right on time. It’s the way of the world, and I’m living proof in a weird way. If you had asked me this 10 years ago, I would have been like, ‘Gosh, sometimes life just doesn’t work out the way you want.’ But wait a minute, and maybe it will.”

Read Kotb’s full interview here.

Thursday, January 27: Follow Your Joy to New Places

If you’re like most people, you’ve probably fantasized about starting a new life in a new city (or even country) at some point or other. And that thought was likely followed by all the reasons you couldn’t do it: You can’t just pick up and start over now! You wouldn’t have any friends or family there! You’re too old, too broke, or too far down the journey you’re already on!

Sound familiar? If so, consider Tania Gruenberg’s story: After a perspective-shifting solo trip to Seville, Spain, the 52-year-old realized there wasn’t much stopping her from staying there permanently. “I loved being a mom and honestly didn’t give much thought to my wants and dreams outside that role,” she says. “Even after I went back to work, I didn’t pay attention to them. But as my kids needed me less, I found myself feeling unfulfilled.”

So in March 2020—just before the pandemic lockdown went into effect—Gruenberg made the big move, relocating 3,800 miles to Spain. In the process, she discovered a hidden talent and a big life lesson, which she shared in the fall 2021 edition of O Quarterly.

“I’ve never second-guessed my choice. Once things lifted, I started taking cooking and art classes. Cooking was great, but as soon as the art teacher introduced me to cuerda seca, a native tile-painting technique, that was it. I became known in class as the cuerda seca girl. I kept pushing myself until each tile got better and better. Now I take custom orders through my Instagram account, and recently I moved into a house so I could have a studio at home.

That’s been the surprising part of this journey—discovering what I’m good at. I had studied sculpture in college and taken drawing classes, but my love for art got lost among the daily routines of life; I didn’t know it could become my passion and career.

My biggest concern before moving was: Am I abandoning my children, even though they’re adults now? But I’ve realized that I’m teaching them a valuable lesson: to go and live. Find what brings you joy. For me, that has been my art and the independence I feel here. You don’t have to move to another part of the world to discover all of that, but that’s what worked for me.”

Read Tania’s full story here—and explore her work on her Instagram account, Ceramica de Tania.

Wednesday, January 26: Follow Your Calling

We spend roughly one-third of our waking lives at work, so it’s perfectly normal (actually, essential) to wonder, Is this really what I want to do all day? Andyou’re certainly not alone: The turbulence of the past two years has caused many to realize that their job no longer meets their current needs—or, in other cases, their desires. In fact, according to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, a record 4.5 million people voluntarily left their jobs in November 2021 alone.

Yet it can be tempting to talk yourself out of making a major job pivot—in part because it requires a good deal of courage to give voice to what you really want and a great deal of determination to do the work needed to land the new gig. And, of course, that’s assuming you’re financially able to invest in education or training. But as many real-life reinventors will tell you: Becoming who you were meant to be is worth the effort.

Consider Genevie Kocourek’s story. For decades, the information technology director buried her dreams of becoming a doctor—that is, until her late 40s, when she decided she could no longer ignore her inner calling.Read on to hear more about her story, which she first shared in the June 2014 issue of O, The Oprah Magazine.

In 2000, Genevie Kocourek was shivering in a tent when she had an epiphany. Then an information technology director who led rock-climbing trips in her spare time, she had enrolled in a wilderness first-responder course to learn how to care for injured climbers. “It was 38 degrees and raining,” she recalls, “and I was having the time of my life!” In high school, Kocourek had dreamed of becoming a doctor, until a guidance counselor insisted that it wasn’t “appropriate” for a woman. Now her passion was reignited. When she learned that her employer was offering early retirement, she mulled “retiring” to a brand-new career.

But first, she and her husband, Terry, met with a financial adviser. They agreed that she’d keep working to avoid total loss of income while squeezing in pre-med courses such as chemistry on her lunch break or at night. Absorbing so much new information felt “like drinking from a fire hose,” Kocourek says. But by 2004, she’d retired from her IT job, taken out a loan (she’d eventually borrow $80,000), and enrolled as a freshman at the University of Wisconsin’s medical school.

Because the campus was 90 minutes away, Kocourek lived in student housing for the first two years and came home only on weekends; her 81-year-old mother, who had recently moved in, helped with the cooking. When the isolation and course load overwhelmed her, Kocourek called Terry for pep talks. Still, she nearly quit during her third-year rotations, when she worked two days at a stretch, with no time for exercise and little contact with friends and family. She stuck it out—and in 2011, after finishing her residency, she founded her own holistic medicine practice, which combines traditional medicine with alternative therapies like massage and acupuncture. Says Kocourek: “The process of getting here was exactly what it needed to be—humbling, exhausting, and wondrous.”

Tuesday, January 25: Reconnect with an Old Friend

Among the dreams of new career paths and new locations to call home, it’s clear from the answers to Oprah’s question “What does your heart desire?” that many of us yearning for more and deeper connections. While making new friends is always fulfilling, think about reaching out to old ones you’ve lost touch with. Over the weekend, many of us—including Oprah Daily’s editor at large, Gayle King—were shocked and saddened to hear about the tragic passing of Regina King’s son, Ian Alexander Jr., who died by suicide. Here, she explains why his death should be a reminder that it’s never too late to reach out to a friend, family member, or even former best friend.

“Someone once told me that it’s never too late to do the right thing—which I’ve never forgotten. It’s also never too late to make things right. And it’s never too late to reach out.

That last one is something I’ve been thinking about a lot these last couple of days. On Saturday morning, like many of you, I saw the news that Regina King’s son had died by suicide, which was a real punch to the gut. I don’t know any of the details or circumstances, but I do know the two were very close. She talked about him all the time, and just a few months ago, she posted on Instagram about how she was beaming with pride after attending his first live concert. Following the devastating news, I saw a tweet urging people to reach out to their ‘strong’ friends, and I wholeheartedly second that. Let this be a reminder that we all can (and should) make more of an effort to reach out to people who you think are doing okay, as well as those who you know are not doing okay.

The truth is you never really know what is going on in people’s lives, even those who you consider nearest and dearest. The news also reminded me of Congressman Jamie Raskin, who lost his son to suicide at the very end of 2020. In his new book, Unthinkable, Raskin reveals that one of his biggest regrets was that he never asked his son directly if he was considering suicide. He’d say, ‘How are you doing?’ or ‘Do you feel okay?’ but he never said, ‘Are you having suicidal thoughts?’ Most people are scared to utter those words because they think they’re planting a seed—but you’re not planting a seed in someone who has been thinking about it. In fact, sometimes they are just looking for an opening to talk about exactly that.

So over the next couple of days, check in on your ‘strong’ friends and consider reaching out to someone who you’ve lost touch with over the past couple of months or years—even those who you think might not want to hear from you. It’s never too late to reconnect, and trust me, you might be surprised.”

Monday, January 24: Take a Leap of Faith

Yesterday, Oprah asked you to consider what long-buried goal or dream you’re ready to make a reality in 2022. Perhaps you already had something—or multiple things!—in mind. While realizing what you want is exciting, sometimes the thought that your dream is too far-fetched can keep you from giving it a try.

In an O, The Oprah Magazine column titled “How to Take a Leap of Faith—and Make a Perfect Landing,” Martha Beck—author of The Way of Integrity and host of the podcast Bewildered—described how to distinguish a leap of faith from a foolish decision. Hint: The best ones are love-based, not fear-based.

“Some psychologists classify every emotion as either love (attraction) or fear (aversion). It’s not unusual for humans to base almost every decision on fear: fear of rejection, fear of poverty, fear of looking dumb, and so on. But after coaching thousands of people, I’ve seen that fear-based decisions lead to hollow victories at best, endless regret at worst. Only love-based decisions create lasting happiness. That’s why the accountant—oops, make that poet—Sara Teasdale advised, “Spend all you have for loveliness, / Buy it and never count the cost.” I’m with her all the way. Loveliness—emphasis on “love”—is the only thing worth buying.

Now, discriminating between fear-based and love-based decisions can be confusing, because leaps of faith are frightening even when the choice to make them is based on love. (Just because you really want to have a baby or run your own business doesn’t mean going into labor or launching a startup isn’t terrifying.) You can gain more clarity by getting into the habit of imagining the choices you’d make if you had no fear—of failing, of losing, of being alone, of disapproval. Take a minute now to practice: What clothes would you wear tomorrow if everyone were sure to approve? What music would you listen to today if nobody else were around—not even in your mind? What books, movies, or food would you enjoy if no one ever judged you?

Going to a fearless place in your imagination will show you clearly which decisions still have fire and energy, and which lose steam without anxiety as their fuel. The former are endogenous—meaning they arise from your inner essence, not from external pressures—and they’re the foundation of every great leap.

Love-based choices have one more quality their fear-based counterparts lack: They’re enduring. And in this way, they make us behave like heroes—at least the kind of heroes you find in epics like The Odyssey or The Lord of the Rings. Scholars have broken down the type of story known as the hero’s saga into standard parts, beginning with the hero’s feeling a “call to adventure.” The next step is the “refusal of the call,” wherein the hero says, “Excuse me? Do I look stupid?” and goes on with normal life. Or tries to, anyway. But the calls won’t stop. The same is true for any leap worth making. The calls keep coming, tapping us on the shoulder, chirping, “Hello! Me again!”

In your case, the call may be a historic role model you can’t stop wanting to emulate. Or an “unattainable” purpose or profession that tugs at you like a magnet. Maybe you have weird premonitions of living in Sasquatch country (see you here soon!). If following your heart’s desire seems crazy but not following it is becoming more and more difficult with every passing week or month or year, your choices come down to taking a leap of faith or living with the regret of never having tried. Wouldn’t you rather jump?”

Read Martha Beck’s full column on following your instinct to chase a life-changing dream and what to say to any naysayers who may question your bold new direction.

Sunday, January 23: Hey, Insiders!

I want to ask you something. Does this happen to y’all? The older you get, you find it hard to believe the number you are, because you still feel like you’ve always felt.

At the end of this week, I’m turning 68! I can’t even fathom that number, because when I was much younger, 68 felt—not just old, it felt ancient! And now, this is what I know: It’s just a marker of how many trips you’ve been around the sun. Because we get to determine what that number means for each of us.

A good friend asked me recently, did I consider myself retired? I said “Mm-mm, no, I don’t. Not a word in my vocabulary.” Although I no longer do the show that was the mainstay of my career, I refocused my energy elsewhere. And I’m always staying open to new possibilities and opportunities—like this digital Oprah Daily site!

So, I’m never closed to new ideas. Producing new dramas for OWN; traveling; speaking once Covid loosens its noose. So for me, as I approach yet another turn around the sun, I truly believe that many more delights are ahead, and I hope that you all feel the same.

Barring major health setbacks, age is whatever number you choose to feel. Gayle says she feels 45. I don’t even have a number, because I just feel like…now. The present moment. ’Cause that’s all we ever have. The past is gone, the future’s not promised to anybody, and when the future does show up, it’s still going to be the “now.” I live for, I celebrate, and I constantly remind myself to stay in this moment, doing whatever this moment requires, giving it my full attention.

In this moment, I feel connected to the source of all things. I feel wise, and peaceful, and content. And yet, this moment allows me to see that it’s never too late to reach a new height that you never thought possible or achieve a new goal. It can be as small as picking up a new hobby to add a little more joy in your day. It can be as radical as moving across the country to pursue the life you’ve always wanted. Whatever you’ve dared to desire, I encourage you to pursue it in the hopes of starting a next chapter that is bigger and fuller than anything you’ve lived thus far.

Just keep growing and becoming more of yourself. That’s the goal—through relationships, through challenges, through victories and setbacks big and small—to recognize that you aren’t just living out your days. You are life, expressing itself through your physical body, your personality, your emotions. It’s never too late to take the reins. In the famous lines of “Invictus,” you are the master of your fate. You are the captain of your soul.

The best birthday gift you can give me this year? Remembering that it’s never too late. So tell me in the comments: What does your heart desire, that you’ve been thinking about for a long time? That you’re going to finally start acting on this year? Or maybe even this week!

—Oprah